God Cures All…Trust Me, I’m Not a Doctor

She’s beautiful, with big, brown, soulful eyes, that could melt any heart.  She’s creative, imaginative, funny, loves people and animals freely—she hurts deeply.  She’s bi-polar.  It’s very difficult to have a child that is sick, but even more difficult when people, due to ignorance, doubt the seriousness and even the validity of her diagnosis, or even worse give advice that could cost her, her life.  One may wonder what this has to do with de-conversion or religion, but stay with me—it does.   My daughter fought hard not to take medication for her brain imbalance and at first I supported her.  She was raised in an anti-medication family and I still believe that natural is usually better, but it became more and more evident that nothing was working.  After her second suicide attempt, and a stint in a psych ward, she decided that living on meds was better than dying without them.  It’s hard for her to stay on them.  The side effects can be brutal at times and I live in fear that she will stop, which leads me to the religion aspect of this.  Yesterday, on my daughter’s facebook wall, a “friend” wrote this: “You dont need a psychiatrist, God cures all….trust me. Hit me up if you wanna know how! beats all the side effects from the MAOIs!”

As an agnostic, I was offended, as a mother—livid and that is putting it mildly.  It took every bit of self-control not to go after this person.  She is a customer at my daughter’s store, so I let her be, but it was difficult to do so.  Thankfully, my daughter is unaffected by the “gospel message,” but what if she, out of desperation, got sucked back into this idea of a personal god that heals all that ails if you simply trust in him?  I know there are people who have and it has cost them their lives.  It reminded me of just how damaging religion and a belief in a personal god, that is able to intervene on our behalf, can be.  If I had the opportunity to talk with this “friend,” this is what I would say:  “You suggest to my daughter that there is a “better” way (Jesus) than taking medication and following doctor’s orders.  You suggest taking meds is bad for her and perhaps that she is sick because she doesn’t have god in her life.  Let me ask you this: Would you suggest to a friend with diabetes or cancer to just trust in Jesus or God?  I don’t think you would—at least I hope not.  By telling my daughter that all she needs is Jesus or God is irresponsible at the very least.   Are you willing, after she forgoes treatment, to take responsibility for her?  Are you willing to take the phone calls in the middle of the night, to sit with her in the emergency room and watch people treat her like an animal because she attempted suicide?  Are you willing to visit her in the psych ward when she gets sent there—bring her clothes and shoes to wear and hold her hand?  Are you willing to pay her medical bills and let her live with you after she loses her job?  Most importantly, are you willing to stand at her graveside with me, look me in the eye and share the love of Jesus with me when the pain becomes too much for her to bear?”  Yep, that’s what I would say.  Okay, I feel a little better now, but the temptation to cut and paste my little rant into the comment box on facebook is still pretty strong right now…I should probably pray for self-control…

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Suit Lin
    Feb 09, 2011 @ 12:55:31

    Hey

    I commented on your site in august 2007 and back than I was struggling with a lot of de-conversion issues. Your comment helped me in the long and arduous journey that I am still on.

    I am now no longer a Christian.

    the reason why I’m commenting, I guess, is to say that I am also bipolar. and being a christian had made me cycle between manic and depressive, when I was manic, I would throw myself into ministry, and then I would hurt myself with addiction issues and I wouldn’t let anyone know because it was not how a ‘good christian’ should act. And when I think God is being ‘unfair’ to me, and being in my addiction addled, chemically unbalanced brain, this happens pretty often. I would blame myself for not being good enough for him and I would try harder (in ministry more and more), and I will fall harder and harder.

    Because God will never able to give me the kind of acceptance that only I can give myself.

    What I’m trying to say is that I know how it feels like when someone looks at my shambled brain and said I need ‘god’ to set me free from the ‘bondage’, one that I see now as being set by ‘god’ in the first place. because it’s the only way I can make sense of for being like this.

    I know the fear of not knowing if I can get through life without loosing my mind. I know the uncertainty of living day to day and even now, in so many parts of my life, I still see ‘god’s’ hand prints and shadows, and it sometimes throws me back and negate the hard effort that I had put in to make myself accept and love myself and this illness. And I have to try again to pick myself up.

    I wish to tell you that you are a good person, and that your protectiveness over your daughter is right, because I had responded the same way when told about ‘God’ who heals, I too had asked them, where where you when I had to hurt myself to numb the voices? Where was God, and everything he claims to give freely, unconditional love and the whole package?

    I had to be angry, I had to retort, I had to speak back at them, because I had to protect myself, I had to believe that I am fighting every single voice that say that I do not deserve a full life because of all the things I am not.

    Thank you for writing this, and for standing by your daughter.

    Reply

    • jburger
      Apr 18, 2012 @ 10:20:19

      God Does Cure all….

      but Lord Willin’ He Can work through others, through His Own Presence/Self, In Christ, In Spirit, in the apostles and prophets, etc. it’s not necessarily that Healers and Healing aren’t a Gift of GOD, but we must Trust He Above we to show us how or who or what He’d Have Us Do

      come back/unto The LORD, PLGB Lord Forgive be i wrong or offbase PLGB

      http://www.Bible.cc
      usccb naB
      WayOfTheMaster, though even hitler i maynt judge PLGB

      Reply

      • notabarbie
        Apr 18, 2012 @ 14:19:43

        jburger, I tend to ignore posts such as yours, but I thought it illustrated so well the stupidity of many Christians. Quite frankly, you are riding the crazy train my friend. Not only that, but you are an ignorant ass. You are clueless and so rude, and you write like a retard…seriously and WTF is PLBG? Most commenters I encourage to keep reading. jburger, I hope you never read my blog again.

    • notabarbie
      Apr 18, 2012 @ 14:11:52

      Suit Lin,
      I don’t know how I missed your comment. Thank you for writing and I’m going to pass your comment on to my daughter. it was such a great comment. Thank you for sharing your heart and for being so open and honest. Thank you for reading and I hope you will continue. Thanks so much for your comment and I promise to respond more quickly next time :-).

      Reply

  2. ... Zoe ~
    Feb 19, 2011 @ 04:22:34

    You’ve been through so much. As have your precious children.

    You know Barbara, I wouldn’t be surprised that these type of people would in fact suggest that somone with cancer rely on God only.

    My ex-best friend (seems like eons ago now) told me that I didn’t have Crohn’s Disease. What I had was “deep-seeded secret sin in my heart” and “if I would just confess said deep-seeded secret sin I wouldn’t have so-called Crohn’s Disease anymore.”

    You can’t win with such people. I’m glad you are there for your children.

    (((Hugs)))

    Reply

  3. Scott
    Apr 22, 2011 @ 13:02:21

    Hey Barbara-

    It’s been a while since you posted. Just checking to make sure everything is ok.I have a son who struggles with OCD and other anxiety issues and I know the hurt a parent goes through watching a child have to deal with such issues. Although his issues haven’t reached the severity of your daughter’s, it is something we deal with on a daily basis.

    A recent conversation with a christian reminded me of your post about your daughter. It went something like this:
    Christian: How is your son doing?
    Me: He has good days and bad days, but his medication seems to really be helping.
    Christian: Well, just thank the lard that the medicine works.

    WTF? are you kidding me? She couldn’t even see the absurdity of her statement! She gives biblegod a pass on allowing the OCD but thanks him for the medication to treat it?!?!? Wouldn’t it be easier for biblegod to avoid the condition altogether? But xtians don’t think that way.

    On a different topic, I’m still easing the family along the path which will eventually reveal that dad no longer believes in biblegod. Baby steps! Anyway, hope things are well with you.

    Regards, Scott

    Reply

    • notabarbie
      May 09, 2011 @ 08:29:53

      Thanks Scott. I’m doing well. I’ve just been so busy with school and stuff, but I’ll will be writing again soon. I know what you mean about baby steps. Let me know how things are going, okay?

      Reply

  4. ... Zoe ~
    May 09, 2011 @ 07:35:59

    It’s Mother’s Day. Thinking of you. (((Hug)))

    Reply

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