Procrastination, Thy Name is Barbara!

So, I know I need to write something. My journalism professor said that the only way you can gain and maintain followers on your blog is to write…all the time…ack! I’m such a loser! It’s not that I don’t have tons going on in my head or that there hasn’t been tons of things going on in my life.  I love to write.  I want to write.  I think about posting to my blog all the time, but life has a way of keeping me from writing– kids, school, my pathetic social life :-), the holidays…and the list goes on. I guess I’ve just been overwhelmed.  So, let me do a little catch up and then move forward from there, with the commitment to write more regularly.

Well, I’m one more semester closer to getting my degree. I haven’t decided a specific direction as of yet, but I’m going to have to soon. My divorce is final and that, of course, is bitter sweet, although my ex and I remain very good friends. I’ve come out as an ex-Christian more and more and it has been life altering–mostly in a good way as of late anyway. Facebook has been a great tool.(see previous posts) It’s interesting though, the more authentically I live my life, the less and less important it is that I am no longer a Christian. Does that make sense? I certainly don’t want to become so distant from it that I forget what it’s like to go through the process of leaving Christianity. I always want to be there for others who are in the struggle, like others were there for me, but it’s such a small part of who I am, now that I live fully in the secular world. It simply doesn’t define me anymore. There are times when I have to remind myself, “Oh yeah! I was a Christian once!” I never thought that would happen. With that said, I think I’m at a bit of a fork in the road and am not sure which way to go. I believe Robert Frost had the same problem at one time.

I have other de-converted friends that have expressed the same kind crossroads dilemma. I won’t mention any names, Zoe, but I understand their struggle more now. I do have lots of other things I can write about: Going back to school in the midlife years, or going through a divorce and surviving, just to name two. I mentioned earlier that my ex and I are friends and we truly are. I’ve discovered that that is rare in a divorce and I think I have some insight into that whole thing that could help others. I even have a blog/book title: “The Best Revenge.” By the way, if you want to lose a friend…marry them…sorry, but those of you who are married and are honest, you know just what I mean ☺. Oh, and please don’t write and tell me what good friends you and your spouse are—I’m sure you are and I’m very happy for you.

So there you have it. I do have much more to say—shocking, I know—but I’ll leave you with that for now.

Look me up on Facebook (Barbara Schmidt) I’m the one wearing red glasses and holding a baby—that isn’t mine. I would be happy “befriend” you.

Happy New Year!

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Zoe
    Jan 07, 2010 @ 08:22:10

    It’s good to read your words once again Barbara. I think I live at a crossroads almost every single day. Dramatic? :mrgreen:

    (((Hugs)))

    Click on my name, and you’ll see where I’ve been blogging since closing my ACS blog.

    Reply

  2. Vince @ Avangelism Project
    Jan 09, 2010 @ 04:25:24

    >>the more authentically I live my life, the less and less important it is that I am no longer a Christian. Does that make sense?<<

    One hundred percent, Barbara. Christianity is variously a shield, a crutch, and a club that we use to protect ourselves from authenticity. The hardest part of deconversion is finding the courage to embrace authenticity and actual personhood.

    The more we do, the less Christianity matters because we no longer need the shield, crutch and club to protect ourselves. The best way not to lose it is to do just what you say and help others embrace their own authenticity.

    Reply

  3. notabarbie
    Mar 19, 2010 @ 23:31:22

    good god is it March already?! I’m a loser.

    Reply

  4. Zoe
    Mar 22, 2010 @ 03:39:51

    Now now, just get blogging girl! Or write me an email or something. 😉

    Or comment on my blog http://changingscenery.wordpress.com/

    :mrgreen:

    Reply

    • notabarbie
      Mar 22, 2010 @ 11:48:08

      I know, right? I am going to…this week. I have so much to say…if I don’t blog soon, my head will explode! How are you anyway? I may not write, but I tell people about my friend Zoe and what she means to me. I’ll be in touch and reading your blog presently…:-)

      Reply

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