On the day my god died, we died too.
Counting the cost, I never thought to factor us in.
You and I
The one true thing–sisters that always endure.
You traded us in for an imaginary god–our laughter for empty praise
Our love for worthless worship.
Your angry and bitter god rewrote our story and you bought it.
You bought the lie and sold it to others.
I loved you, was there for you, kept your secrets, held your hand.
We shared everything–Why not this?
No matter.
Your dividing devil deemed me evil–evil I am.
With your Jesus sword you separated us–marrow from bone
Your blind blinking eyes looking up for reassurance
Reassurance you have created—only you.
Sing your praise songs.
Quote your scripture.
Continue to comfort yourself.
While our sisterly skeleton lies stinking in the sun.
You bend and scrape to your god for my salvation
Yet it is you
Unsaved.
Unmerciful.
Unreal.
And it is I
Completely happy,
Truly whole
Finally free.
Julie Findon said,
July 25, 2011 at 2:26 am
Wow – amazing! I was so glad to see a new post from you Barb, but this sounds like you have a difficult relationship with a family member that you should be close to. But thanks for putting your thoughts down and sharing.
notabarbie said,
July 25, 2011 at 3:26 am
Thanks Julie! It’s true, sisters should endure forever, but sometimes when religion is involved, it becomes impossible. I have a girlfriend that is just like a sister to me and she lacks a sister as well, so it works. We’ve adopted each other. I do get sad when I think of what my birth sister and I have lost, but it is what it is. C’est la Vie!
... Zoe ~ said,
July 28, 2011 at 7:07 am
This is an amazing piece of writing.
notabarbie said,
July 28, 2011 at 11:58 pm
Thank you Zoe! Coming from you, that is hight praise!